“When I said I do, I meant that I will ‘til the end of all time

Be faithful and true, devoted to you

That’s what I had in mind when I said I do“

When I Said I Do – Chante Moore, Kenny Lattimore

Too many times couples ‘marry in haste and repent at leisure’ as they rush headlong into a marriage , with some not even taking the time to count the cost or to find out exactly what they are getting into. Filled with a rush of emotions and convinced that they have found their soulmate for life, they ignore everything else and make a mad dash for the altar.

While some marriage officers insist on premarital counseling – a form of therapy that couples engage in preparing them for marriage – others choose to leave the decision solely up to the couples.

Premarital counseling has historically taken place in religious institutions, but an increasing number of non-religious couples have begun seeking this type of guidance too. That’s largely because premarital counseling boasts big benefits and can help prevent divorce. Here are five of the best reasons to choose premarital counseling.

It Builds Communication Skills

When couples go to counseling, they talk together with a counselor or religious leader who has the training needed to help them better understand one another. Couples who go through this type of counseling inevitably build better communication skills because they have a neutral party there to help them understand one another. No doubt this is one of the biggest benefits of premarital counseling. In addition to learning how to better communicate individual needs and desires, couples also learn how to better understand each other. They gain compassion and communication skills that will get them through the tough times.

It Provides an Opportunity to Address Issues

Premarital counseling also provides a great opportunity for couples to confront issues that could lead to divorce before they become serious. By talking with a counselor, couples may be able to settle money disagreements or talk about their plans to have children. Addressing issues before marriage is the best way to ensure a solid foundation for the future and to avoid serious conflicts after the big day. Of course, it’s important for couples to be candid when they attend premarital counseling. That’s the only way to realize the benefits of this time-honored tradition.

It Helps Couples Plan the Future

Many premarital counselors do more than just help couples talk through their current issues. They also help them plan actively for the future. A counselor can help couples set financial or family planning goals, and can help them find ways to accomplish those goals. Premarital counseling is the perfect place for couples to talk about the expectations that they have for married life and what they want personally in the future too. Premarital counselors help their clients focus on healthy goals and relationship changes.

It Lets Couples Absorb Wisdom

Talking with someone who has been married a long time is another big benefit of seeking premarital counseling. When you talk to a counselor, you benefit from a voice of wisdom on the subject of marriage. It’s more than just someone sharing what they’ve learned from a book. It’s someone sharing what they’ve learned from real life. In fact, many premarital counselors have struggled with the trust, intimacy and financial issues that tend to plague young couples. They can provide tested advice and essential encouragement.

It Allows Couples to Discover New Things About Themselves

Counselors ask a lot of questions when they’re working with engaged couples. Listening carefully to your partner’s answers is a great way to learn more about that individual. Yes, many couples perceive that no one knows their partners better than they do. However, counselors can help bring out important information that a partner might have been reluctant to share. This offers great growth opportunities while helping couples learn more about each other. It’s also a safe space for individuals to share things that they are nervous or upset about with their partners. It can be particularly helpful if one individual in the couple has been in failed relationships before.

Remember that premarital counseling is for all couples. If you’re a marriage and family therapist, offering premarital counseling it’s also a great way to share the wisdom that you’ve gained in your own marriage.